Night Runs


Well, I’m not running in the mornings anymore. I lasted longer than I thought I would. The only reason I’ll be running in the evening from now on is that Robert is finally having his knee surgery- which means he can’t bike next to me while I run- and he doesn’t want me running outside alone when there isn’t a lot of witnesses around. So 5pm it is. I was getting tired of running in the frigid cold morning air anyways.


I ran at 5pm yesterday after neglecting to run for three days straight. Not running enough + way too much sugar = a verry cranky me. I didn’t run for a few days because I gave myself a gash in my shin because I dropped a gallon tub of ice cream on myself while at Safeway. Then when we brought it home, I ate too much of it, so double whammy. So I decided not to eat any more ice cream, and Robert, after eating too much key lime pie, decided he couldn’t have any more pie because it was making him feel sick. So we’ll be eating healthy for at least the next few weeks. download

We’ve been having smoothies lately. Frozen berries + 1 banana + spinach + orange juice. So delicious and helps us get more fruits and veggies. I’ve been thinking of adding Metamucil to the smoothies.. I think I need more fiber. I’ve been having oranges at work too. I love orange season. Its so delicious.

Night Runs

I wish I was a man.


It must be fantastic to be a man.

I’ve always wanted to be a guy. Sometimes I feel like I’m a buff white male stuck in the body of a short frail asian girl. I love sports but I’m not athletic because of my body mass. I could work out hard-core to build more muscle, but it would take seriously a lot of effort and I don’t have the motivation for it. Guys get hired based on their perceived potential and women get hired based on what they have already accomplished. Men get paid more. Men don’t need to spend any time getting ready in the morning- comparatively- to women. Men’s clothing is warmer and more comfortable. Men are all friends with other men even if they’re strangers. Guys do fun things when they get together like go hiking or play football, and women go to the mall. I’m generalizing of course but generally all this is true.

But the thing that has brought this desire to the front of my mind today, is that I can’t run early in the morning or late at night unless Robert is there with me. Because I could get raped or mugged or kidnapped. Because it would be easy. Whenever Robert can’t run with me because his knees hurt him too much or just doesn’t feel like it, I have to run around in circles inside my apartment complex. It sucks. And it doesn’t feel fair. But if I run outside and get raped, mugged, or kidnapped, the newspapers will write about the stupid girl that ran early in the morning and people will say that it’s my fault for not being careful- that I was “asking for it”. It’s messed up. But what can you do.

On a random note, birds keep hitting the window of my office on the 20th floor.

I wish I was a man.

Mental Clarity


I have ADHD. I’m fidgety and my mind is flighty most of the time. To compensate, I’m very organized. I keep a lot of lists. I love lists. Lists of what I have to do that day, of what I need at the grocery store, of my favorite books, of my favorite tv episodes, you name it. I also like routine. I like to do the same thing at the same time, every week day, and eat the same food except for dinner which can vary. If I don’t have routine then I feel like I don’t need to do anything and I end up shirking responsibility, and I usually end up over-eating. This is my schedule as of late:

6am- wake up, get ready for morning run, stretch

6:20am- leave the house, run, stretch outside, take Kylie for a walk, shower

7:15am- eat a small bowl of cereal, make 1/2 a pbj for the rest of my breakfast that I will eat at work, make a ham&cheese&egg sandwich for lunch with a Nature Valley bar, lemon Oreo, and Wethers candy for a snack

7:55am- leave for work

8:15am- arrive at work, boring work stuff

4:15pm- go home, dinner, free time

9:30pm- sleep

So anyway, in college I used to take Adderall XL 20mg to keep up with my classes. But I realized that althought adderall is awesome for getting things done and understand what’s going on during lecture, it makes me feel disconnected from everyone around me and I don’t like that. It also makes my brain feel stuck on one train of thought sometimes which I also don’t like. So I stopped taking it after I finished college in August 2014. I still take it once in a while on the special occasion where I have a crap-ton to do and no will to do it, but very rarely.

Anyway, today is the second week that I’ve been running in the morning and I don’t know why, but I felt like my brain was on Adderall today. My mind was super clear and on task and I wasn’t fidgety at all and I wasn’t tired either. It was amazing and I think it’s because I started exercising again. They say that exercise helps you do better at school and work but I never believed it really until today. Just another reason I will keep running in the mornings!

Mental Clarity

Morning Run With Kylie!!

Born to Run 1

I finally did it! I went on my 6am run with Kylie and Robert came with us on his long-board! It was pretty exciting and only possible because we got the shock collar. I just used the vibration setting when she started sprinting and dragging me. She was still kind of a pain because she was super excited and had never run outside of the apartment complex but it was manageable. Hopefully she’ll get used to it and stop freaking out.

Yesterday Robert had the genius idea of letting her off her leash and letting her run around the tennis courts while we threw the football. When we weren’t throwing her tennis ball for her to fetch, she was scouting the tennis court fence trying to find a way to escape. That’s the thing I hate about Kylie. She never appreciates new things like being able to run around without a leash. She always wants more- which I guess it’s an animal instinct to want to roam free but it’s annoying.

Anyways, I’ve been feeling much better since I started running again. I’m not super antsy and restless like I’ve been the past few months and I feel like running in the morning kick starts my brain and makes me think more clearly. I also feel like morning runs make me more active throughout the day and breaks up the monotony of inactivity in my life. It’s nice.

Morning Run With Kylie!!

Perks of Morning Runs


Today I ran at 6am again and decided that I’m going to run at 6am every weekday- so 5 days a week. Robert wasn’t going to do it with me because he has multiple torn ligaments in his knees, but we decided that he could ride my Bianchi bike while I ran (so that a raper in a white van won’t steal me up during my run). So that’s the new plan.

I’ve always wondered what the difference was between running in the morning and running at night. I thought for a long time that it was exactly the same- as long as you exercised, no matter what time of day, it was good.

I liked running at night because the accumulated stress from during the day could be blown off during my evening run, I like showering at night so I can flat iron my hair in the morning, and I always thought running in the morning would make me feel sick because I would be running on an empty stomach. Also, I never thought I could make myself wake up so early in the morning for an optional activity. However, I read an article talking about the benefits so I thought I would give it another try.

I love running in the morning now. The air is cleaner and brisk, it wakes you up, and you can take advantage of your metabolism being a little faster throughout the day from the exercise. I felt a little sick the first morning I ran, but now my body is used to it. Showering in the morning is not a problem anymore because I decided I don’t want to flat iron it every day because it’s bad for my hair anyway. Also, when I was packing my breakfast and lunch today, I decided that I didn’t want to eat take the pretzels and extra Werther’s Original candy I packed last night. AND once I got to work, I decided I didn’t want to eat my allotted lemon Oreo and Werther’s Original candy at all! I feel clean and healthy and I don’t want to undo all the good I did by eating a bunch of sugar.

It’s weird- whenever I ran at night, I never felt like reducing my sugar intake, but now that I run in the morning, it’s like I’m more conscious of what I’m putting into my body throughout the day. The article I read said this would happen, but I didn’t think it would happen to me. I don’t know if it will last, but even going for one day feeling like I don’t need sugar is amazing and worth it.

Perks of Morning Runs


I love reading. If there’s a movie version and book version of something, I’ll opt for the book. The book is always better.

My favorite book is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. She’s my favorite author.

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There’s a used book shop near where I live called Dimple Books. Robert and I decided to get books for me there and buy them instead of renting them at a library so that our kids can have a lot of good books to read in the future. The first book I got there was

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Anthem and Atlas Shrugged are both are in my top 5 favorite books. She’s an amazing writer, her plots are always exciting, and her characters are well-rounded and vivid.

Then I read The Lovely Bones which Robert surprised me with because I told him that using the Kindle Paperwhite made me miss reading from real books. I didn’t care for that book too much. Not enough dialogue, and the plot moved too slowly- like The Grapes of Wrath.

I’m reading her other famous book The Fountainhead right now and it is not disappointing. She is one of the few authors that write in a way that makes me never want to put the book down.


After I read this, It’ll probably be in my top 5 too. Other great books I really like are The Brothers Karamazov and Crime and Punishment, both by Fyodor Dostoevsky (my other favorite author).


Unexpected Morning Run


Today I took Kylie on her usual morning walk at 7am right after I woke up. There’s a little path we always take her in our gated apartment complex and she pees in the same spot and poops in two different spots. Today, after she pooped, Kylie stepped out of the vine bushes and I went in to pick up her poop. I felt a weird tug and clicking sound so I looked back and when I did, she was out of her harness and sitting about a yard away from me.

Internally I was panicking, but I wanted to remain calm and try to get her to come to me. I called her but of course our asshole of a dog didn’t come so I started walking towards her and then she sprinted away through the tennis courts and out towards the parking lot. I ran after her. The security guy saw Kylie, then saw me chasing her and said, “Is that your dog?” I yelled, “Yes!!” as I sped past him and heard him say, “Oh shit” as he ran along and tried to help me.

Eventually I got really tired. I’ve only been running for like three days now and I’m not in the best shape. So I started walking because I saw her walking behind a row of cars, and then she was gone. I ran back to my apartment and yelled for Robert to wake up and he ran out of the apartment with me in nothing but his basketball shorts (not even shoes).

20 minutes later all three of us had Kylie almost cornered in the parking lot near our apartment. The only reason we caught her was because we didn’t- I guess she got tired and sat in front of our apartment door, tail wagging and tongue hanging out, waiting for us to open it for her. We thanked the security guard and went into the apartment to give Kylie the longest spanking of her life.

I know some people don’t condone hitting your dog, but: 1. She’s a beast and nothing hurts her under her 10lbs of fur  2. She doesn’t listen  3. Don’t tell me how to train my dog.

So it was a stressful morning. My dog doesn’t listen to me and today I hate her for it. But at least I got a morning run out of it.

Unexpected Morning Run


This is my puppy Kylie.


She’s 3 years old and 60 pounds of gorgeous fluff. We got her about a month ago from people who used her as a breeding dog and decided they were done with her.

I want to go running with her in the morning before I go to work but she’s not leash trained and pulls a lot. I don’t know if she pulls because she’s a sled dog or because she isn’t properly trained, but either way I can’t do it until she calms down.

She’s so cute. And she gets away with murder because of it. I swear if she pulled the crap she does now but was an ugly dog, Robert and I would have given her back asap. But she’s slowly getting better and learning she’s not supposed to climb on the counter to eat our food, nip at little girls’ hands, bite dogs, go through the trash, and pull on the leash. She’s kind of a terrible dog but I love her all the same.




I’m trying to eat healthier but I love. love. sugar.

Most of my calories used to come from sugar. But Robert has been trying to help me eat less which is not fun at all, but necessary. I have a family history of high cholesterol even though none of my family members are overweight so I need to watch things like sugar.

I stopped binge eating/sugar loading since I started dating Robert about 9 months ago and I’ve maintained around 110lbs from just that. Now I’m at 108lbs and trying to get down to 106lbs and maintain that. Lately, the sugar I’ve been eating has been from cereal, chocolate, ice cream, Nutrigrain bars, and Oreos. I’m trying to keep it down to one Nutrigrain bar and one Oreo but I’m slowly working my way down to that.

I don’t know what it is about Oreos, but I love them. It started when Robert and I got Pumpkin Spice Oreos in October because we were on a pumpkin spice craze and I haven’t been able to get Oreos off my mind since. We’ve also gotten the Winter Oreos and Caramel Apple Oreos too. Right now we have the Lemon Oreos and we’re super excited about the Red Velvet Oreos that are supposed to come out in stores Feb 2. I can’t. wait.




Last night after work, my boyfriend Robert and I started running for 30 min and doing push-ups. I was feeling really squishy and flabby yesterday and it was giving me a lot of stress so he said he would run with me every weekday with weekends as rest days.

I absolutely love running- which is weird because I used to absolutely hate it. I’m not fast, I can’t run for a long time, and I’m not naturally athletic. But there’s something I’ve grown to love about running.

When I’m stressed, running makes me feel like I’m temporarily leaving all my problems behind and escaping into a paradise where I can stay as long as my legs are moving. I love the crisp air my lungs breathe in. Feeling the physical stress on me as I run makes me remember that I’m alive and makes me tune into my body. I love feeling like I accomplished something and pushed myself a little further than I thought I could. I love seeing my body build endurance and take me further each day. It’s fantastic.

And today, I feel fabulous. Just one day of running and my tummy and thighs are so much tighter. The difference in my body from yesterday to today alone is almost mind-blowing. I don’t know why it made such a difference, but it did and I’m not complaining. So from now on, I”ll be running 30min and doing push-ups at 6am with Robert 5 days a week.