I wish I was a man.

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It must be fantastic to be a man.

I’ve always wanted to be a guy. Sometimes I feel like I’m a buff white male stuck in the body of a short frail asian girl. I love sports but I’m not athletic because of my body mass. I could work out hard-core to build more muscle, but it would take seriously a lot of effort and I don’t have the motivation for it. Guys get hired based on their perceived potential and women get hired based on what they have already accomplished. Men get paid more. Men don’t need to spend any time getting ready in the morning- comparatively- to women. Men’s clothing is warmer and more comfortable. Men are all friends with other men even if they’re strangers. Guys do fun things when they get together like go hiking or play football, and women go to the mall. I’m generalizing of course but generally all this is true.

But the thing that has brought this desire to the front of my mind today, is that I can’t run early in the morning or late at night unless Robert is there with me. Because I could get raped or mugged or kidnapped. Because it would be easy. Whenever Robert can’t run with me because his knees hurt him too much or just doesn’t feel like it, I have to run around in circles inside my apartment complex. It sucks. And it doesn’t feel fair. But if I run outside and get raped, mugged, or kidnapped, the newspapers will write about the stupid girl that ran early in the morning and people will say that it’s my fault for not being careful- that I was “asking for it”. It’s messed up. But what can you do.

On a random note, birds keep hitting the window of my office on the 20th floor.

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I wish I was a man.